When People Play the Victim for Sympathy #pityparty2017

Bullying, Gossiping, Stalking, Harassment and abuse(mental, emotional, physical) are all old news. It takes no more than a minute to open your TV or computer and see people talking about their experiences and stories on the above mentioned topics. Lately, it came to my attention that on YouTube, there are a lot of videos by successful creators where they claim to have stalkers who harass them, try to kidnap them and i don’t know what else. No long after these videos were uploaded on the platform, rumors started swirling that these stories were fake and the creators did this for views. Surprised? I personally wasn’t..I could see it coming clearly.

Besides that trend, many other celebrities and famous entrepreneurs have used tplatforms to address issues like school bullying(and bullying in general), sexual harassment  and social injustices concerning the work conditions and salary in respect to the employees gender and social standing. For example, Mila Kunis addressed the issue of unfair treatment of women in the film industry where female actors are paid way less than male actors and shared her personal experience with sexual harassment when a director suggested that she sleep with him to get the part she auditioned for.


I think it is wonderful that people are speaking up about these issues and are shedding some more light in these unfair and horrible incidents that take place so often. Back in the day, the terms bullying, cyber bullying and so many more weren’t even known and victims of abuse wouldn’t  recognize that what was happening to them was a global phenomenon.

However, i feel like the past years, many of these people(celebrities and even everyday individuals) somehow use stories (both fake and true) to make themselves targets of sympathy, love, support and generally create a flow of admiration to themselves as they are presented as survivors of tear jerking stories and supporters of their followers in their own troubles.

For example, yesterday i was reading the blog of a not so famous Korean actress where she was describing her experience giving a motivation speech for a prestigious University in NY. Instead of giving information about the topic, which was obviously the speech, she went on a rant about how hurtful YouTube comments are and how inconsiderate people can be both online and offline. The reason for this rant was just the fact that a guy apparently said to his friend(don’t know if the friend was a guy or a girl) that he though she would be taller…….(insert cricket sounds here)


She even went on and said that she was lucky she had thirty minutes before the speech started to pull herself together after that “terrible insult”….and this is not the first time she rants about stuff like that and of course her following overflows her comment section with comments like: “Oh don’t worry, you’re so beautiful blah blah…”

Get a grip woman! This is not bullying! It’s not a racial slur, not a sexist comment or insult, not a threat or a comment showing any kind of superiority and arrogance.

How is she making this into an inspirational story about bullying?

I guess what i am trying to say is that we may have gone a bit nuts and take everything someone says, any form of critique on our physical appearance, skills and whatever else very sensitively and most of the times use it as an excuse for self-pity (and fake self-pity) to fish for nice comments and fill our needs for admiration and  narcissism.

It’s like the instagram girls who post a selfie and underneath there is a caption along the lines:”oh my hair,face,skin doesn’t look good today etc” and then wait for their friends and followers to offer them their compliments so that they can feel better.

Come on! What kind of sh*t is that? Grown women! Really now?

I’d rather they said the truth:” I am taking a selfie because i feel gorgeous today ” not that hypocritical things because they want to appear humble and pure and innocent but are mad about the admiration people give through the social media platforms.

Cut long story short:

“Important issues like bullying, sexual harassment, drugs etc are not for advertisement. They are addressed when they need to be addressed, not when someone feels insecure and takes the slightest remark to heart. It’s 2017 for crying out loud! The people who shed crocodile tears and are so sensitive about people criticizing them do it most of the times to get closer to their following and appear more relatable  and are the same people who support that we all need to chill and learn to take a joke(but obviously when the joke is not directed to them). Hypocrisy much?

Lastly, when we come to present each and every other thing people say as bullying and harassment, no mater how unimportant and stupid that is, we run the risk of downplaying the really important stuff and make other minor incidents reasons for fighting, sadness and rants. How do we expect to be taken seriously when we turn  something important and serious into a trending topic for pity parties and a tool to gain sympathy from strangers on the internet?”

Well, these were my thoughts on some things i’ve noticed so far in social media.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Until next time, stay precious little diamonds xox !



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