Throughout my life i have come to meet a lot of different people; People of different ethnicity, income, shape and size but all in all, i could put them in various categories, based on their attitudes. There are the happy, positive people who are content with their lives. This doesn’t mean that they are billionaires or highly successful people necessarily(although most of the time they are), but these are people who have done a lot of self-reflection and meditation and have a very logical and optimistic view about the world.
They value themselves, they know their worth and in turn, they value and respect others as well. They have loving families, many friends(real friends, not frenemies) and good relationships with their colleagues. Sadly, there are not many of them.
On the other hand, there are people (both successful and unsuccessful according to society’s standards) who are always on the lookout to blame, shame and put people down. They is nothing worst and more pathetic than grown ups behaving like spoiled and insecure children. These people are normally quite narcissistic and feel entitled to special treatment while at the same time they have no problem treating their fellows in a very bad way. These people, no matter how rich or powerful they are, they have turbulent relationships where what characterizes them is not love and empathy but thirst for control and domination. They usually humiliate their spouse, children and members of extended family when they feel “threatened” by them; with this i mean that they actually become more successful and independent and refuse to be the underdog and let those insane people push them around.
To be honest, i have met many people of that kind. I must admit our interactions have not been the most pleasant and that goes both ways.
Initially, i have been very reactive and combative against them, trying to set my boundaries and argue a lot with them and about them. However, i’ve come to realize that this is not the way to deal with these people and situations. So, now that i am older and wiser, here are some tips on how to deal with toxic people and toxic feelings:
#1 Don’t get down and dirty with them
My extensive experience(sigh..) in dealing with toxic people has taught me that there is no point arguing with them. You may ask them:”What is your problem?” or tell them:”Please stop being disrespectful towards me!” and all you will get is further verbal abuse or denial of their actions. When i received these kind of reactions i was both livid and confused, but soon and after a lot of research and talks with professionals i have been informed that this is actually a quite common practice of toxic people and abusers.
So, don’t fight them. You cannot win with a crazy person.
#2 Don’t take them seriously
I know it is hard to do, especially when we are talking about really aggresive and spiteful people. Please keep it together and remember that these people want you to believe them, they want you to be upset by their comments and insults and they want you to doubt yourself. Don’t let them win. Besides, we all know that people try to drag others down, exactly because you are above them…so, don’t let their abuse get to you.
#3 Don’t internalize their abuse
I’ve met many people who have been seriously abused(mentally, physically, emotionally) and now have a very dark and negative outlook about people and life, which prevents them from forming new relationships and enjoying life in so many ways… Toxic people are many, i won’t sugar coat things, but not all people are toxic. There are good people out there who deserve a chance. Don’t let the past ruin your future…In the end you deserve a chance in happiness yourself<3
#4 Avoid them
I am not saying that you should quit your job because your colleague is an @sshole, but if you can avoid him/her in the hallway or not team with him/her, then don’t. Don’t try your luck with crazy people and don’t invite unnecessary drama in your life. They will get satisfaction out of arguing and ruining your day, while you’ll be drained and exhausted.
#5 Don’t talk about them to anyone, unless you are about to report them to the authorities
Don’t give them the attention they want. They feed of it. If you talk about them to others with whom they might be friendly or in good terms, chances are that they inform that person about your words and a new circle of drama will begin. Plus, these toxic people will make it seem as if you are the one who is after them and they are just the innocent, helpless victims. If you are to talk about them, only do when you are reporting their harassment and abuse to the authorities, be it your supervisor or HR or even the police.
So, i hope you like and agree with my tips ❤ If you have any other tips, please let me know in the comments below!
Till next time, stay precious little diamonds xox!